The big red engine sat looking at me, all shiny and clean. I casually strolled up to it in my normal cool fashion and then doing my best leap, I jumped on. I sat in the driver's seat (carefully listening out for Dad). If he saw me on the fire engine he would go ape.

I pretended to drive the engine making 'de dar de dar' noises. I used the radio. Leading fire cat Barnum (your hero) to control. If only La'l Red Fergal could see me (he came from Auntie Joyce too). This was such fun. I then thought I would try the fireman's pole. I slid all the way from the top to bottom. Blimey, this was so good I went back and had another go. This time I came down headfirst. I slipped at the top! I heard Dad get up so I ran back to my box. 'Won't be long Barnum', he said. No worries, thought I, as I climbed out of my box again. This time I went to look at the helmets. I had to run up some fireman's jacket to get to the helmets hanging up on pegs. I climbed inside one. It was very smelly. It wobbled on the peg, and then fell to the floor making a mighty bang. Dad came into see what all the noise was. I was still inside the helmet, which had rolled underneath a bench. Dad, not known for being observant did not see the helmet, or me.

I thought I would take one last look at the engine, before we had to go. As I climbed in I could hear a bell and the lights in the station started flashing. Next thing some men and women had arrived and climbed into the engine. The big doors to the fire station opened and off we roared. Warp factor zillion! I was thrown onto the floor of the engine as we sped through the streets. I managed to climb up and look out the window. A lady who stopped to look at the fire engine saw my face at the window as we sped past. I waved at her. I think she fainted with the shock and fell into the path of an oncoming pedestrian. I went to sit in one of the helmets for safekeeping. Next minute I was on someone's head as they put the helmet on. I tried to smile at them as I slid to the floor. 'Oh my goodness', someone said. 'A cat. Where did that come from?' Next minute I was picked up and bundled in a locker for safekeeping.

When the engine got to the fire and stopped I used my haddock key again and climbed out of the locker. They had the ladders out to what looked like a chimney fire. I leapt onto the ladders and ran onto the roof. I helped Dad back home when he was fixing the chimney. I would walk along the roof ridge with him.

Inspecting the gutters!

(Owners comments - this is true. He sat on the roof looking at the dogs in the garden below and teasing them. I might point out we do not live in a bungalow.) I went to look down the chimney just as a big plume of black smoke came wafting up. I was covered in soot. There was not much to see so I ran into the house to have a look. They had been having breakfast so I helped myself to some sausages and a drink of milk from the milk jug. With all the goings on they never even saw me. I then hopped back onto the fire engine.

When we got back to the station Dad was still there. The firemen told him they had a white cat in the locker on the engine. Dad went to get me out. 'How did you get in there?' he asked. I said nothing. Well we cats never speak to humans. You humans think we are dumb. He put me back into my cat box. Minutes later we were speeding towards the Vets.

A few weeks ago I very nearly died. When the folks came back from shopping I was collapsed outside underneath a tree. I was rushed to the Vets and very very nearly died on the way. I had gone blue and was not breathing. I was given oxygen when I arrived. The Vet thought it was an apoplectic shock, or something like that. (I think he means anaphylactic shock) The reason is still unknown. I had two chests x-rays, and was given lots of injections. They said it might happen again so I was given some injections to bring home with me. Well they did not give them to me. Although there was plenty of room in my shorts pockets.

So as  you can see life is never dull living here. Last week I came running into the kitchen. Jumped up onto the worktop (for which I always get told off) and sat on top of a crusty loaf which was sitting there, thus putting paid to crusty bread and cheese for lunch.

I hope you have enjoyed reading about my antics. The folks say they just want to own a normal cat…. Well I think to myself. You will never get one of those from Auntie Joyce and Pets Life Line...  

See you later.

"Poor Barnum although full of life, he has been very ill these last few weeks and has used up several of his 9 lives.  He has had some really extreme Asthma attacks which has meant rushing him to the Vets for emergency oxygen and treatment.  The last attack he was coughing up blood. On a couple of occasions he  turned blue, and we thought he had died...  He has pulled through each time, and as well as being on steroids the Vet, Kirsty Barker,  said as Barnum was a particularly 'cool' sort of cat, we might try him on a baby inhaler.  So this is the nest step in trying to get him stabilized. Please watch this space for further updates.

We understand that Asthma in cats is on the increase, there can be many factors which trigger it off, from pollen, smoke, chemical sprays, the list is endless.  Barnum had his first attack a few months ago - at the age of two. It does seem to be worse in hot weather - so we keep him in on really hot days, but his last attack was at 4.00am.  Luckily we woke up and were able to give him his medication. We now have to make sure he comes in every night. The thought of him dying a slow death starved of oxygen and unable to breath is too horrible to contemplate."

L'al Red Fergal's Page

Cute!
Me aged 7 weeks doing some
serious eating.

Excellent Site On Feline Asthma